REST FOR A WEARY SOUL

   

 Often when we are wounded; we will retreat to our own cave of isolation.  Sometimes isolation from the noise of life has it's place; rest isn't a sin.  If anything God even rested after creating the world, so if He needed, so do I.  Yet, if we are not careful the isolation can cause us to forget our purpose on earth, we were not created to be alone.  Nevertheless, a few years ago, I went through some intense trials within my family, it was a traumatic time in my life.  To be truthfully honest, the trauma caused me to have a crisis not only within my life; it was within my soul.  It's not a period I want to relive but sadly within my mind, I have re-played the events over and over to the point of evaluating my decisions for myself and my family.  

 Still, within the coldness of the cave, I could feel it caressing my skin to bring calmness to the pain of the reality I stood.  As the wind howled through the entrance of the cave, I stood frozen to the ground.  Although the world was spinning outside the cave; I stood frozen in disbelief at what my family was just exposed to.  Yet, isn't that what trauma does?  It comes unexpectedly, a heartbreaking shock, and your mind is so overwhelmed you can't feel your body breathe.  Simply breathe...to prove to yourself you are alive but you are in the deepest pain of your soul.  Oh, to scream!  It would be a wonderful delight to allow the pain to come forth but it will reveal your presence.  It will cause some people to question your madness, some come to comfort as the friends of Job's, while the majority ignore the desperation of your scream.  So, you remain silent in isolation to prevent revealing your presence or drawing undue pain to those you love.  Oh, the hearts of the weary who long for rest!  Rest from the wolves who tore into my life so deeply with their teeth into my veins.  Yet, the pain is so deep the ice has started to frost my vision of God or distort the truth with its plaguing questions of doubt, unbelief, and fear.  

Numbness falls quickly as the dark twilight of the night emerges without solace or friends.  The numbness is a companion of the dread in which I stand.  God's voice is silent, no friends to depend upon, and the pain deepens with each breath.  The cave isolates not those who can conflict with pain but it isolates them from the opportunity of life or healing.  Love, peace, and healing are truly the hope of the weary soul but the fear of rejection, being misunderstood or doubting your faith could cause the choir to hush.  It's the reality of where your life stands in the midst of trauma.  

 Unbelief whispers questions about your worth before the Almighty as the dust of the ashes falls.  Doubt points to the reality of where you are.  Fear holds your feet, so the mustard seed of faith can't be seen.  The ache of your beloved's longing to come as the morning sun.   Although we seek solace or seek to gain an understanding of what's happening, we can lose a piece of our heart with our questions.  Questions of wondering, "Did I handle the situation right?"  "Did I make the right decision for my children?  How do I rebuild my life outside this cave?  Is it worth the risk?  

IF I REMAIN IN THE CAVE; IT WILL TURN INTO A TOMB'

God didn't create our lives to be a walking tomb; He created us for life.  Truthfully, life at times will not make sense, pain is a reality, but the truth of God's Word and His character will prevail.  How can I be sure?  Jesus is still the Good Shepherd.  When your beloved calls your name, your aching heart thirsts to answer the call even if it's just a whisper.   He hears it!  A shepherd will search endlessly to be reunited with his sheep, regardless of the terrible location of the cave.  What truly brought me out of the cave, was truly being alone to hear the voice of the Shepherd.  I didn't answer the first call but as the Holy Spirit keep prompting me, I obeyed to come.  During a weekend stay at a hotel, I was determined to hear the voice of God, I wanted to be alone to pray until I heard Him.  So, I will share what He told me, "Let Me lead you to see MY goodness."  The Holy Spirit led me to two places in Scripture Psalm 23 and Psalm 34:18 and then told me to sleep.  

WHEN THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD, I LACK NOTHING!  He desires to take me out of the cave to a place of GREEN PASTURES and LEADS BESIDE QUITE WATERS.  He knows I need rest, tranquility, and substance for my soul.  Yet, so many times we run what He offers.  He wants to REFRESH my soul.  We can rest assured of His desire; it's His name-FAITHFULLNESS and TRUTH!

Although darkness came, it will not conquer me because death has been defeated by the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  So, as His child, I will rest in knowing His goodness and love will follow me ALL the day of my life.  Even in the darkest times of my life, I am not out of His sight or care.  

As Toby Mac sang in The Elements, "I get my head right, my heart has to follow."  Beloved, God is calling you out of the cave, don't be afraid to answer.   I pray the Spirit of the Lord will give you strength to step out of the cave and breathe life into you.

  

WEEPING BETWEEN THE PORCH AND THE ALTAR

For the last several years, my heart has ached in pain.  A ruthless pain beyond description, unfamiliar, and it was paralyzing me.  Regardless of what I did, the pain wouldn't escape although I cried relentlessly.  My faith was present but it's resembled a smoldering wick in the wind, the enemy was waiting for it to blow out.  Trial upon trial hit my family for two years, it felt as if this season would never end.  Nevertheless, when a trial comes, God has my full undivided attention.  

All of my dreams, expectations, and the faith of my family hung in the balance.  Trauma affects the victim but don't be deceived into believing it doesn't affect the victim's family.  Angry, frustrated, torn upon my beliefs, convictions, and even broken-hearted over decisions of leadership.  Ashes were all I could feel, the soot smeared not only upon my hands but into my heart.  Darkness swirled around me due to the brokenness of my family but the ashes keep smearing on the floor with my tears.  No matter where I stood the wind blew me into a different direction or down again.  How could I minister to my family?  Others?  So, instead of being the outspoken prophet, I was found weeping between the porch and the altar.  

JOEL 2:17 says: “Let the priests, the ministers of the LORD, weep between the porch and the altar, and let them say, Spare thy people, O LORD, and give not thine heritage to reproach, that the heathen should rule over them: wherefore should they say among the people, Where is their God?”

As the darkness grew around me, I didn't want to hear from ministers or personally share what was happening in my life.  Truthfully, only a handful of trusted friends and my pastor knew but the battle was fierce.  Instead of the Job's friends at my feet; they were in my head.  As I carefully examined my heart during the two years of intense trials of my walk with Christ, I withdrew to solitude.  

Yet, I found comfort in this passage, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." 1 Kings 19:7  

Beloved, if the journey feels too much, you are not alone; it's not the first time a soldier has felt the heat.  Elijah is probably my favorite prophet in the Bible, he walked in the Holy Spirit before the outpouring.  He walked in the miraculous, was bold, and preached the truth before man.  Nevertheless, he was overwhelmed with fear, physically famished, and exhausted.  Elijah acted differently, he left his servant and went away to be alone.  Truthfully, Elijah had enough, he didn't want to deal with it anymore.  Oh, I can relate to the man!  Can you?  It's important when we feel overwhelmed, we are taking an evaluation of how we are eating and sleeping.  The angel of the Lord fed Elijah and allowed him to rest.  After resting, Elijah traveled for forty days and nights to Horeb, the mountain of God. There he went into the cave and spent the night. (1 Kings 19:8-9)   

Elijah entered the cave WITHOUT God's instructions; he went on his own accord.  He didn't enter to pray with God or to find shelter from a storm.  He went inside to hide from the battle, he didn't want to fight anymore.  He felt alone.  According to Scripture in 1 Kings 19:10, He replied, "I have been zealous for the Lord God Almighty.  The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword.  I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."

Elijah didn't like the results from his previous assignment; no one stood with him.  He was the only one standing for God and he was about to be snuffed out.  From the evidence of his people, Elijah didn't see a promising future.  No one was following God's covenant, coming to the altar for prayer, and silenced those who spoke the true Word of God.  

During the end of this trial, God brought 1 Kings 19:11-13 to my mind.  As I meditated on this passage, I hope what I learned will help you.  (Please read this passage)

1.  Elijah had to position himself to hear from God - He went to the mountain in the presence of the Lord.

2.  A great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, BUT the Lord was not in the wind.   Although the circumstance is tearing you apart and appear extremely powerful, it's not God's doing.  God is powerful but it's not His power we question during these times, it's what is He doing?  Why is this happening?  

3.  After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.  After the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.  Beloved, don't look at the wind or tremble at what is bringing you to your knees, it's not going to destroy you.  Our thoughts can toss us to and fro but we have to remain steadfast in WHO God is!  We can rest in His integrity; He is a God who doesn't lie!  Although it may be getting more intense; it will only push you to hear a gentle whisper.  Yet the wind, earthquake, and fire can try to prevent us from desiring to hear God's voice.

Only the gentle whisper of God's voice is going to move you to the opening of the cave!

Don't allow the circumstances to overwhelm you, be mesmerized by their power, and prevent your heart of what you need most - HIS GENTLE WHISPER.

Pain Brings Healing

Pain doesn't discriminate; it comes to all who live and breathe.  No one will escape pain upon this earth, even our precious Savior suffered.  The nailed hands of Jesus don't only prove He understands our scars, He paid for our healing.  No matter how deep the scar; He can heal the soul.  As the painful memories surface, we can feel the pain re-surface or seem it's intensified to blind our faith.  The pain is so present, real, and overwhelming to our mind, it can causes us to question if God is present.  "Where is God?" Do I even matter to Him?" "Or  anyone?"  "Does God even know my name?"   If we are not careful, our feelings can control our lives.  It's not wrong to express the anger, frustration, or sorrow before God.  All of our feelings need to be worked through, so we can be made whole.  The book of Psalms truly reveals the heart of the writer, so it reveals the raw emotions we all experience in life.  Whether afraid, angry, burdened, or uncertain the writer expresses their honest heartfelt emotions to God.  The Psalmist was completely honest before God, he withheld nothing.  

In Psalm 13, David expresses the anguish of his heart, he was weary of the affliction. He felt forgotten (v 1); abandoned by God (v 1); Ignored (v 1); wrestled with thoughts (v 2); sorrow (v 2); and defeated (v 2, 4)   

All of David's feelings arose due to the feeling afflicted by King Saul who was savagely pursing his life.  Saul's jealousy for David caused a lengthy persecution lasting about eight or nine years (1 Samuel 27:1)  David openly expresses his emotions, the torment, and desire for relief from the hand of Saul to God.  He was weary from the length battle but God never left his side.  Besides David expressing his emotions, he expressed his faith to God.  He expressed his faith by turning to God (v 1); hope for restoration (v 3); trust in His unfailing love (v 5); rejoice at His rescue (v 3) called out to God (v 3); praised Him (v 6)

Trials have no set time period but they do have an expiration date.  Our pain doesn't have to keep us down, we can overcome it.  We can trust in God's unfailing love; He will hold us, mend us, and complete us.  We don't have to ignore the pain; we can express it.  It doesn't mean we are weak; it means we are human.  Our Savior understands our sorrow, our temptations, and intercedes in our behalf.  "Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers from them ALL." Psalm 34:19

All season of our lives have value; a valuable purpose under Heaven.  Our character is sharpened, our faith renewed, and watching the majesty of God to bring good out of it.  When the pain seems dark; hold unto the light.  "You intended to harm me, but GOD INTENDED IT FOR GOOD to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. (Genesis 50:20)