Guilt is a horrible weight to carry, it's really refreshing to see it leave. We don't realize the power of it's grip until it vanishes. Sometimes God will bring unique experiences into your life to bring freedom. Tonight, I encountered just want I am talking about. About ten years ago, I was a youth/associate pastor of a church within a small hometown. On Easter Sunday, I started this ministry with great expectations, opportunities, and fear. Could I touch these kids? Would I make any impact? These questions are propably normal but I was determined to give it my all.
Sadly, some people really never understand the sacrifices their pastors/leaders make. Yes, it's expected but it's not always easy. Before accepting this position, my husband and I just purchased our first house, had stable employment, and pregnant with our third child. Who would have expected God to open a door for ministry? It doesn't sound like the "perfect" time but it was God's time. Although the experience itself wasn't anything I expected, there were some very challenges situations. As the challenges came, I handle them with dignity, grace, much prayer, and discipline. Just as the youth was being unified, some circumstances changed unexpectedly.
So, the past has lessons to teach us, we have to let it go. It isn't the easiest lesson to learn but if we hold on to it, we can't grip the future with both hands. God has beautiful plans, a great future for me. If we want the best for our future: we have to seek the face of God, trust God with our life, and let go of the past.